The Truth About Living Abroad in Lisbon
After 4 years of traveling like a mountain goat through Europe, solo-nomading across 30+ countries, I wanted something different – I wanted a home.
While I loved my travel life, I was tired of living out of a suitcase, I missed having a community, and no matter how romantic they make it seem in movies, building a relationship on the road while living out your travel dreams is damn near impossible – and at times, heartbreaking.
So, last year, it was either 💩 or get off the pot! (as they say in my home state of Texas!)
I knew I didn’t want to go back to the United States. At least not yet.
And so I picked the city of Lisbon because it is beautiful, well-connected, has a vibrant international community, and I’ve always had a good time here.
“Give it a year, and see how you like it!”
This was my mindset.
The Truth About Living Abroad in Lisbon
Now, the beauty of life abroad goes beyond pretty sunsets and European lovers.
Choosing to live outside of your home country is filled with challenges and so many learning opportunities. Once you’ve accepted and internalized that, the real fun begins.
Here’s what I’ve learned from living abroad in Lisbon over the last year.
A Slower Pace of Life vs. My Ambition
Lisbon teaches you how to slow down.
To savor the long lunches and the €1 espressos. To stroll instead of to rush.
My dreams have a different pace.
I want everything done right, and right now.
But bureaucracy moves slowly here. Visas take time. Learning tax codes and how to apply for medical insurance takes time.
My ambition feels heavier when I’m waiting.
I constantly ask myself: “Can I be content while I’m waiting?“
Because this city will test the f*ck out of your patience.
And it will also show you the beauty of moving and growing slowly.
Fast Travelers vs. Deeper Friendships
Lisbon is full of tourists and fast travelers, people who live half their life in Bali, half in Europe.
Crypto-daddies, tax optimizers, startup founders, and aspiring retreat creators.
Basically, folks who are here for a good time, not a long time.
What’s more, the city invites you in with open arms – late dinners, warm nights, people spilling into Praça das Flores and chatting into the wee hours of the morning, followed by lazy beach days in Caparica.
Making friends feels easy at first, especially if you’re like me and have a “yes, and...” attitude to start.
The reality check is that beyond the beach parties and wine in the park with everyone and no one, you wake up realizing…. you’re still searching for your people.
Making friends as an adult in a city where people come and go takes more than showing up. It takes vulnerability. And it takes time.
I’ve met people from everywhere in Lisbon, but deep roots take time.
Building relationships here has meant showing up when I don’t feel like it. And choosing to stay when leaving would have been easier.
But when I finally found my circle, I realized – these friendships, built from scratch, are going to be some of the best I’ll have.
Not Every Day is Sunshine
Some days, you’ll stand by the ocean, watching the sunset, and wonder how life could feel so full. And other days, that same sunset feels distant and foreign.
I call these days “lost days.”
These days are not often. This feeling usually comes and goes. But I can tell when a day is going to be harder than the rest.
Now, to have multiple places I call home in 2025 is truly a privileged problem.
So I’m sharing this feeling for anyone who has been an immigrant, an expat, or who has left their home to live somewhere else, far away.
You see, the great secret we expats keep to ourselves, which we really shouldn’t, is that the privilege of calling two parts of this world home always comes with a bit of an uncomfortable feeling.
There comes a point in the adventure when your heart is split in two, and the distance between those two parts keeps growing with every passing year.
Neither is really home again. There is no home. There are just two parts of a whole battling it out for love and attention in your subconscious.
So on these days, I just say, “fuck it!“
I sleep in. I don’t write. I go on my little mental health walk. I listen to good old American rap music, call my mom back home, and escape into what I find comfy.
This is how I pass these days, and they always do pass.
Charming Apartments with Cracks
This city is full of charming little balconies spilling over with plants and drying laundry, winding colorful streets, and azulejo tiles adorning most old city buildings.
When you live here for a while, you’ll learn that Lisbon apartments are not all roses and butterflies – there are cracks.
There is no central AC for the summer months and no heaters in the winter.
While my apartment is newly remodeled, the thin walls make strangers feel way too close.
And above all this, the rent prices will really stretch your budget. Portugal used to be affordable, and in some areas, it still is – but not in Lisbon.
And yet, living here, home becomes more than four walls.
It becomes the streets you walk daily. The barista who knows your order at the Folks Coffee Shop, the park where you find peace and a glass of wine with friends at night.
I’ve come to learn that home isn’t found – it’s slowly built over time.
New Language, New You
There’s power in learning a language – in stringing together words that unlock doors, relationships, and opportunities.
But there’s vulnerability too.
The humbling silence when you can’t keep up.
The isolation when jokes fly past you.
And just when you think you’re making progress and pronouncing pão with the perfect nasaly accent, Portugal reminds you – belonging is deeper than words.
I’ve been studying Portuguese this year, and I’ve learned that it builds with time, with effort, and with humility.
A local boyfriend here and there doesn’t hurt. 😘
To find your voice here, you first have to be ok with being silent sometimes. And that has been hard for me.
Final Thoughts: The Reality of Living in Lisbon
Living in Lisbon has taught me patience, especially as everything moves more slowly than I want it to.
It has taught me resilience when starting over feels like breaking apart.
It has taught me presence, because here, life happens in the smaller in-between moments – the quiet victory of a conversation held entirely in Portuguese, the sunset after a long, uncertain week, the happy hour in the Praça with new friends…
The reality of living abroad in Lisbon has taught me that to fall in love with the city, you have to fall in love with the struggle as well, and with yourself in it along the way.
Lisbon is not perfect. And maybe that’s the point.
Maybe the point is learning that you can choose imperfect things, dreams, and a life – and live it fully anyway.
Would you choose it?
I would.
